


Under the Mistletoe

by Evil_Little_Dog



Series: Lucifer Shorties [17]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Gen, Holidays, Mistletoe, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21902383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Little_Dog/pseuds/Evil_Little_Dog
Summary: An education in mistletoe from Lucifer is the last thing Linda needs.
Relationships: Linda Martin & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Series: Lucifer Shorties [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1457671
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22
Collections: Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2019





	Under the Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cornerofmadness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerofmadness/gifts).



Linda averted her eyes. "That's NOT where the mistletoe is supposed to go, Lucifer!"

"But Linda, I like getting kissed there!" He all but purred in that stupid sexy voice of his, "And people like kissing me there."

"No." She waved both hands. Eyes still firmly averted. "No no no. Get dressed. I'm begging you."

Lucifer hmphed but Linda could hear the rustle of fabric. Hopefully the Devil was obeying.

Because the only other thing Linda could think of doing was calling someone for help - and the only people she knew to call would either blush and stammer (Chloe), refuse to help outright (Amenidiel), or laugh herself silly (Maze).

 _I really need better friends_ , Linda told herself.

"Doctor, I'm dressed."

She risked a glance. Lucifer's fly was down and...

Or better booze. Either or.

"Put that away before I call Maze."

"You wouldn't."

Linda fixed him with her best glare.

Lucifer wilted - staturesquely - and put himself away. "There, happy?" He wasn't. He pouted.

"Much better," Linda said. "Now, mind telling me what this is all about?"

He gave her the flattest look ever. "You do understand what time of year this is?"

"...Christmas?"

From Lucifer's expression, he wanted to kick something. Hard. "No! Saturnalia. One of the many holidays Christians claimed in the name of Jesus and good ol' Dad."

"So the mistletoe above your penis was a way at getting back at your father?" Finally, terra firma.

"What? No! That's all about the fun!" Lucifer showed a lot of white teeth. "The berries from mistletoe represent semen, you know. Fertility. Washed out to just kissing under the mistletoe but one takes what one can get."

Linda blinked. Twice. "Okay. Session's over." She stood up, made a shooing gesture. "Out of my office."

"But Doctor."

"Nope. I have presents to buy and wrap and...whatever that is, you can go have fun with it elsewhere." She almost told him to show it to Chloe but that was a whole kettle of fish Linda wasn't about to open. "You have a great Saturnalia. Indulge or whatever."

The somewhat suspicious expression didn't stop him from saying, "I will. I shall." Lucifer hesitated a couple of seconds more before saying, "Until next time, Doctor."

Linda leaned against the closed door, puffing out a breath of air. Seriously, there had to be better ways to get paid in Los Angeles at Christmastime.


End file.
